Look up, it has more to offer.

The Selfish Agenda.

I get confused by the balance of loving, giving, taking, receiving, and expecting.  Often ends with a feeling of disappointment. 

You know that feeling that burns inside your chest and flushes your skin a light shade of pink with a tint of green from disgust?  I tend to live expecting the disappointment and not holding accountability on the forefront of my expectations.  Our human nature leads us towards a dark hole at times.  The only thing we see is what hurts us, what we don’t like, the ugly, the bad the plain exhausting negativity over our head. 

Is there a light at the end of this tunnel?
 

When I am wrong I sell the reason behind the emotion.  I will manipulate and ease my way into agreement with whoever is involved.  What an ugly habit.  We are human!  It feels far more satisfying to be right than to be wrong, even if we are doing it out of spite or out of self pity.  I cannot express the ugly behind the reason or action but I do know that we are inclined to look down instead of up when it comes to progression.  This is not true for everyone or every situation but as we all know, when it rains it pours. 

1. When getting upset we do not think of the 782 great things that happened before that very moment, but the one moment that created the bad.
2. There is no room for error when it comes to relationships.  When was the last time your partner made you upset or angry and you pointed out to yourself and to each other the last great moment or action they did before you had this negative feeling.  We instead start listing off out of our mental notebook all the other things that either 'bug' or 'irritate' us.  This my friend is called the jabbing and low blows.  We do not account for the good but focus on the bad. 
3. You wake up and stub your toe, the coffee you made is not at its best, your car needs gas, and you are late for a meeting at work.  As soon as you set foot in the door of your workplace you choose to talk about the bad as soon as the first victim decides to listen to your ranting and negative attitude.  Have you thought about the fact that just because you are having a bad day, doesn't mean sharing it will make it any better.  If anything, it will allow others to fall into the pattern of your day and create more misery that will continue to surround you throughout the day.

We act on a selfish reaction and negative response than to take the time to appreciate the many great moments that were slightly interrupted by just one wrong move. 

Trust me when I say I am first to admit fault here!  I am a mirror of my lesson. 

We often times choose to sit in our sorrows and to dwell on the pain and so called “suffering.”  How do we live with ourselves when all we can see if the imperfections of every move and every moment?  I know this seems a bit like a 'downer' but I've experienced some very unique encounters and situations that have shed some light on how we as people work from time to time.   I received a call from my "Wifey" today and she expressed to me that stress can cause unnecessary outbursts.  I asked "why?"  She said, "I experienced my co worker blowing up at me and pulling out all the stops."  What she took from this conversation is a learning experience. 

• How do I come across when I blow up?  I don't like how it feels so I need to be more aware.
• I need to be aware of my stress and how it affects the ones I love.  Daughter, partner, family, etc.
• How can I have approached this differently?

What is my point?

This is a prime example of selflessness.  Often times we react because we want our point to be persuading and right.  How do we look at the bigger picture and realize that we need to create an un-bias opinion and stand behind ourselves but keep an open mind and ear? With practice of patience and selflessness. 

I choose to be happy and I choose to great not because I look at the upside of life but because I am human and can recognize my mistakes before they become the problem. 

Its not easy. 

Do you recall the story of the man that ran a race and half way through that race he felt a rock in his shoe?  Many runners would just finish the race and not stop because they don't want to be beat out or passed by others, or they think it will prove a point of courage and dedication.  What did the runner do?  The runner took the rock out of his shoe because it caused irritation, some pain and it was not logical to continue the race feeling uncomfortable.

The answer is as easy as the story of the runner.

Choose to win the race without the rock in your shoe.