"Where there is love there is life."

The only strength you need is the strength you have within.

Weakness is not flawed by emotions, but it is fueled by vulnerability.  To open your heart and reach out for strength is powerful.  People are fueled by life's purpose when most of us do not even know how to create our own life.  What if I told you hitting rock bottom is just the Universe telling you to look up?

Stop looking down and open your eyes to what is surrounding you.

Over the past 2 months I have faced a personal journey and a test of the heart.  To experience loss, disappointment, betrayal, fear, love, opportunity, change, gratitude and mindfullness.. The list goes on and on.  I did not know how I would survive this storm that passed through my life....but what is beautiful is that I have.  True strength comes from letting down the walls and allowing the love surrounding you to be your savior.  My family and friends have provided me with with love and insight that has helped "my so called life" become brighter and new.  I found a piece of me  that was missing for years, it stood beside my life and i thought this life I had was, "just how it was supposed to be."  Clarity is no joke and shit.... it is enlightening and critically important to any healing process. 

I have not chosen a life of suffering and pain but I chose once again to live my life through love. 

Where do I begin?

April 20, 2014 my life changed and the Universe knocked me flat on my back.    Yes, if you are good with holidays, it was Easter Sunday and that day I began to live.  The pain that flooded through me was not of suffering, but of disappointment in myself for allowing my heart to lead without any set boundary.  I had built up an immunity to accept the things that I should not, and live a life that was not condusive to what I fully was capable of achieving.  However, I am not going to share what was lost on this day because we only lose things that we truely had complete control over --which is not much at times.  So I would like to talk about what I have gained. 

It is simple...I gained the best gift I could ever give to anyone and that is "ME." 

What is ME?  Let me fill you in on a little tip.  Finding yourself is the best gift that God can grant us on this earth because.... guess what?  We only live once!  You lose yourself in moments, life and love, but we often forget to really dig down deep and fulfill the only thing necessary which is ME.  It is not defined as selfish to love yourself first, but we usually end up putting ourself last in this catagory.  More often than not we completely forget that we have a place in this race.  Well that is exactly what happened. 

It all came tumbling down to build a stronger foundation of what is necessary and allowed in my space I call life. 

The hard knocks of what we experience build a thicker layer of awareness and self-love.  A friend once told me that when tragedy or any pain is fresh; its like a cut, it may leave a mark but through that time of healing, it will continue to reopen and heal over and over again until it is ready to build a scar.  --Yes I know, this is  some deep shit. :)

Opening my heart and my mind has humbled my approach and outlook on how I should live. 

First, I had to realize that we often treat others not as we wish to see in return but out of what "feels good" in the moment. 

What for?

For the thrill of the chase, a moment of opportunity, a selfish motive or just for one single decision that may change you forever.  No matter what "I" decide is right or wrong, it does not mean I should hold everyone else accountable to the same standard.  The difference between you and I is that we have the right to choose our own path and action.  This is a hard one...  We as individual minds choose every single day to live life exactly as we see fit.  But let me share an interesting discovery..... When I made the decision to leave my heart open and to not shield myself because of how it hurt, I was able to heal and build a strength that allowed me to love myself first.  This strength has been a guide, allowing me to open up the tunnel that I have been traveling and walk through the door that leads to the field of endless opportunity.

I CANNOT CONTROL ANYONE BUT ME-- this is hard.  I am controlling... yes surprise, I like to have what I want.  I can safely say that this is the case for most, but please correct me if I am wrong in this matter. 

God placed us on earth not to be alone but to love.  We travel through our life paving memories and a legacy we will once leave behind.  How are you leading your life?  We live in a world that promotes love, a love that is taken very lightly and treated as a replaceable commodity.  Hmmm.. Things that make you wonder? 

Here is what may be twisted around about this so called LOVE.

The love you give will be that of what you receive.  Love a little more and live a life flooded by the hearts of others.  Interesting concept I think Gandhi said it best...“Where there is love there is life.”  People do not live, they just hope and pray that things will work. 

 

Why not live a little and love a little more and then define that as life? 

 

So... it is safe to say that life's so called tragedies can be turned into a life opportunity that just makes you humbled and gracious for the experience. Even though my Easter may never be the same, it will be a reminder of ME and that is the best gift. 

--Jack

#lerv

 

 

Acceptance

"The best and most beautiful things in the world cannot be seen or even touched.  They must be felt with the heart."  Helen Keller

My journey in life has been such an amazing and triumphant battle.  The strangest part to me is that the battle most of the time is with myself.  I can place blame, or look for comfort but I can only take care of "me."  I have walked through life as a romantic, optimist, pessimist, as an idiot, blind, through God's eyes,  leading with my heart and now I find I live more realistically with eyes wide open than ever before and more than I would like sometimes.

There is no wrong or right answer to most of my own questions, but its how I deliver the question and find the answers determines the quality of my outcomes.  Through observation, feedback, fights with friends, family, and girlfriend, reality checks and many more avenues I have come to a realization that just because you see yourself in a certain light does not mean others do as well.  Everyone is different.

How do we create a better understanding of ourselves to others? 

The beautiful fact of life is that, we are all individuals, from our internal wiring, experience, education, work , beliefs, routines, etc.   The very essence of what makes us different creates a gap and difference between 2 people.  Relationships take years to develop, maintain, and make successful.  However in one simple moment, the same moment you gain pure clarity and understanding, the next moment can be on another journey to gain a better grasp on what you just one moment ago thought you really understood.

Acceptance is by far the hardest concept to wrap your entire mind around.  I want it my way and you want it your way, we may meet in the middle but we may fight until we have a "win."  Healthy acceptance needs to start with selflessness and a open heart.  We are conditioned to dominate our own thoughts and less often show empathy towards a message or circumstance.  But, this does not come easy; it is followed by blood, sweat and tears. 

How do you live your life and  practice acceptance? 

Accept yourself because no one else will until then.  Find pure and utter surrender to enable yourself to learn, trust and accept the differences we have that makes us unique individuals.  We may lose ourselves from time to time, but the outcome will end in a learning experience and growth.

Stay true to yourself.

"The emotion that can break your heart is sometimes the very one that heals it..."  Nicholas Sparks

The Reality of Relationships

Where do you fall short in your relationship?

Kennedy: I was recently faced with a harsh reality that relationships never stay the same. What does that mean?!

I am a hopeless romantic who thought that the beginning of a relationship can, and always will, remain the same. Boy was I fooled! Marylyn has showed me there is so much more involved when you find that “one” person that challenges you, loves and accepts who you are, and more than ever—drives you crazy!

I have been in relationship after relationship that failed either because I wasn’t ready, she was straight and wouldn’t be “out,” or because there simply was no substance behind the first couple months of sex and infatuation.
As women, we are emotional creatures, and for me, I played off of their emotions and the fact that they were into me—and that was it! Later, I realized there were no brains behind the operation... physical chemistry quickly faded, and reality set in... Eight months later, there I was, trying to find my way out! My therapist explained it as such:

• The relationships where lust and sexual drive are super apparent right from the start, are usually just that; sex. Someone to fill your need at that time. In most cases, these relationships are not long lasting.

On the flip side, the relationships where things are intense and attraction and interaction are there, seem to be the ones where sexual and emotional depth doesn’t comes easy. The ones that last are the relationships that take time to perfect; improving mental aspects and gaining understanding when it comes to one another’s Love Language.

These are the ones that make the fight worth it. These are the ones that keep you interested and engaged, wanting more, and truly wanting to be there… Working and striving to be better, together!

Marilyn often says “there are constant peaks and valleys in any healthy/functioning relationship and life.” You mean, we’re not in the honeymoon phase forever?

For some reason, we’ve noticed in the SLC “Scene,” lesbians go through more relationships than socks! And to top it off, they hook up with their best friend’s ex, venture off to other circles of lesbians and invade their lives, or just go back and forth for months—or even years—with their previous relationship.

What is it about us women that makes us think the grass is greener on the other side? We often do not set ourselves up for success, either by staying in something for too long, or not really giving it a fair fight from the get go. **Remember our vantage point may be very different from yours*

Commitment!

When I met Marilyn I was unsure, out of fear, and made some choices that didn’t always boast confidence in our relationship. Luckily she was different; she was bold, upfront, and honest. She showed me the difference between “her” and “them” (them being my past relationships). I struggled with boundaries because I was so used to the way our community, at times, misrepresented them. (Boundaries: what imaginary line exists? Depending on Intention of either party, matters. What is going too far or unacceptable when you’re in a relationship? Many times I found myself having to ask “How would I feel if Marilyn was doing or allowing these same types of things to happen?”) And finally, trust. “Who can you trust,” I thought.

Marylyn has taught me a lot. She taught me a relationship is about meeting each other half way, she showed the best form of patience that she was capable of, and ultimately, she showed me love in a way no other was ever willing to do. Good or bad she fought for us and I fought for her.

To my surprise we are still fighting. Fighting to improve, understand, and take the good with the bad when it comes to growth. I am not the easiest person to be with, but I have met my match. She is by my side through it all and has shown commitment and dedication to us and our lives together.

When you find that one person that will put up with the things that others will not, care to have the uncomfortable conversations that come with ANY relationship, truly wants to be better (as well as assisting you in being better), makes you feel loved in the most surprising moments, and you can truly be you with—Commitment is necessary to make it work.

Our biggest lessons learned are the following:
1. Understand your role in the problem and take accountability when it comes to action.
2. My needs aren’t the only needs that should be met.
3. Relationships are a full-time job, but when worked at with love and compassion, there is a sense of approval.
4. If worse comes to worse, only then can you walk away holding your head high, knowing you gave it all you could.


So I ask you… do you know where you fall short in your relationship?

Yours Truly,
Kennedy—Monroe