"Where there is love there is life."

The only strength you need is the strength you have within.

Weakness is not flawed by emotions, but it is fueled by vulnerability.  To open your heart and reach out for strength is powerful.  People are fueled by life's purpose when most of us do not even know how to create our own life.  What if I told you hitting rock bottom is just the Universe telling you to look up?

Stop looking down and open your eyes to what is surrounding you.

Over the past 2 months I have faced a personal journey and a test of the heart.  To experience loss, disappointment, betrayal, fear, love, opportunity, change, gratitude and mindfullness.. The list goes on and on.  I did not know how I would survive this storm that passed through my life....but what is beautiful is that I have.  True strength comes from letting down the walls and allowing the love surrounding you to be your savior.  My family and friends have provided me with with love and insight that has helped "my so called life" become brighter and new.  I found a piece of me  that was missing for years, it stood beside my life and i thought this life I had was, "just how it was supposed to be."  Clarity is no joke and shit.... it is enlightening and critically important to any healing process. 

I have not chosen a life of suffering and pain but I chose once again to live my life through love. 

Where do I begin?

April 20, 2014 my life changed and the Universe knocked me flat on my back.    Yes, if you are good with holidays, it was Easter Sunday and that day I began to live.  The pain that flooded through me was not of suffering, but of disappointment in myself for allowing my heart to lead without any set boundary.  I had built up an immunity to accept the things that I should not, and live a life that was not condusive to what I fully was capable of achieving.  However, I am not going to share what was lost on this day because we only lose things that we truely had complete control over --which is not much at times.  So I would like to talk about what I have gained. 

It is simple...I gained the best gift I could ever give to anyone and that is "ME." 

What is ME?  Let me fill you in on a little tip.  Finding yourself is the best gift that God can grant us on this earth because.... guess what?  We only live once!  You lose yourself in moments, life and love, but we often forget to really dig down deep and fulfill the only thing necessary which is ME.  It is not defined as selfish to love yourself first, but we usually end up putting ourself last in this catagory.  More often than not we completely forget that we have a place in this race.  Well that is exactly what happened. 

It all came tumbling down to build a stronger foundation of what is necessary and allowed in my space I call life. 

The hard knocks of what we experience build a thicker layer of awareness and self-love.  A friend once told me that when tragedy or any pain is fresh; its like a cut, it may leave a mark but through that time of healing, it will continue to reopen and heal over and over again until it is ready to build a scar.  --Yes I know, this is  some deep shit. :)

Opening my heart and my mind has humbled my approach and outlook on how I should live. 

First, I had to realize that we often treat others not as we wish to see in return but out of what "feels good" in the moment. 

What for?

For the thrill of the chase, a moment of opportunity, a selfish motive or just for one single decision that may change you forever.  No matter what "I" decide is right or wrong, it does not mean I should hold everyone else accountable to the same standard.  The difference between you and I is that we have the right to choose our own path and action.  This is a hard one...  We as individual minds choose every single day to live life exactly as we see fit.  But let me share an interesting discovery..... When I made the decision to leave my heart open and to not shield myself because of how it hurt, I was able to heal and build a strength that allowed me to love myself first.  This strength has been a guide, allowing me to open up the tunnel that I have been traveling and walk through the door that leads to the field of endless opportunity.

I CANNOT CONTROL ANYONE BUT ME-- this is hard.  I am controlling... yes surprise, I like to have what I want.  I can safely say that this is the case for most, but please correct me if I am wrong in this matter. 

God placed us on earth not to be alone but to love.  We travel through our life paving memories and a legacy we will once leave behind.  How are you leading your life?  We live in a world that promotes love, a love that is taken very lightly and treated as a replaceable commodity.  Hmmm.. Things that make you wonder? 

Here is what may be twisted around about this so called LOVE.

The love you give will be that of what you receive.  Love a little more and live a life flooded by the hearts of others.  Interesting concept I think Gandhi said it best...“Where there is love there is life.”  People do not live, they just hope and pray that things will work. 

 

Why not live a little and love a little more and then define that as life? 

 

So... it is safe to say that life's so called tragedies can be turned into a life opportunity that just makes you humbled and gracious for the experience. Even though my Easter may never be the same, it will be a reminder of ME and that is the best gift. 

--Jack

#lerv

 

 

Acceptance

"The best and most beautiful things in the world cannot be seen or even touched.  They must be felt with the heart."  Helen Keller

My journey in life has been such an amazing and triumphant battle.  The strangest part to me is that the battle most of the time is with myself.  I can place blame, or look for comfort but I can only take care of "me."  I have walked through life as a romantic, optimist, pessimist, as an idiot, blind, through God's eyes,  leading with my heart and now I find I live more realistically with eyes wide open than ever before and more than I would like sometimes.

There is no wrong or right answer to most of my own questions, but its how I deliver the question and find the answers determines the quality of my outcomes.  Through observation, feedback, fights with friends, family, and girlfriend, reality checks and many more avenues I have come to a realization that just because you see yourself in a certain light does not mean others do as well.  Everyone is different.

How do we create a better understanding of ourselves to others? 

The beautiful fact of life is that, we are all individuals, from our internal wiring, experience, education, work , beliefs, routines, etc.   The very essence of what makes us different creates a gap and difference between 2 people.  Relationships take years to develop, maintain, and make successful.  However in one simple moment, the same moment you gain pure clarity and understanding, the next moment can be on another journey to gain a better grasp on what you just one moment ago thought you really understood.

Acceptance is by far the hardest concept to wrap your entire mind around.  I want it my way and you want it your way, we may meet in the middle but we may fight until we have a "win."  Healthy acceptance needs to start with selflessness and a open heart.  We are conditioned to dominate our own thoughts and less often show empathy towards a message or circumstance.  But, this does not come easy; it is followed by blood, sweat and tears. 

How do you live your life and  practice acceptance? 

Accept yourself because no one else will until then.  Find pure and utter surrender to enable yourself to learn, trust and accept the differences we have that makes us unique individuals.  We may lose ourselves from time to time, but the outcome will end in a learning experience and growth.

Stay true to yourself.

"The emotion that can break your heart is sometimes the very one that heals it..."  Nicholas Sparks

Is it real or is it a fantasy?

I believe in love...

Do you?

Not your generic love buta love that can only be defined by two people. (An exclusive love.)

Or.. In my case her and I.

I find that my heart andmy mind are not always in sync.  That whatI think is right and what others think is not always the same.   My idea of love and how it works is often verydifferent but from a select few. 

Iremember watching this movie with Sandra Bullock “While you were sleeping.”  I fell for the love story not because of theplot or the love story between Sandra and the brother, but because the way itmade me feel.  I ran to my Mom and said, “Iwant to have love like that one day.”  Shelaughed and asked me, “why?”  I said, “Iwant someone to want me and love me the way he loves her.”

So simple and so easy!  I remember the feeling and the hope that Ihad. 

I recognize that I havebeen molded by fantasy.  It is not myfault I watch love stories at a young age. I have always had this idea that love lasts because it stays new and itstays exciting and it stays so many things.

Well my friends I am nowpushing 30 and have finally realized a thing or two.

I realize that if youlook into the past and what it “was” you will never know how amazing it is “now”or even what it can “be.”  I have taken ajourney through my mind and through my heart and see that they are not sodifferent. 

My mind just stores morememories while my heart carries the weight of the experience.  Together in unanimity,  I can appreciate the moments that sparked loveand interest, the feelings I felt in the moment and that simple gift of smilingand living in the moment. 

Moments pass and love willgrow; we often let it pass us by because we hoped for what “was.”  The real truth is, what is right now and howwe can make the best of each day because it is a gift and a memory that will bestamped in our minds and weighed in our hearts forever.

This is my perfect fantasy.

“None but ourselves can free our minds.” - Bob Marley

One week in and its been a tough challenge. 

"Positive Mindset."

Realization-  It is much easier to be a negative person, look down instead of up, point a finger, poke and jab to defend youself.  Just like its easy to be overweight because fast food is cheaper and I'm just too busy to go to the gym.  Excuses!  We do what is easy and we do what feels good even if it as the expense of another but especially at the expense of yourself.... 

Think about this...  Putting your best intention forward allows you to lead with integrity and to be looked at as honerable.  Taking every moment and turning it towards the best outcome and looking towards that positive piece of every encounter will create; self love, understanding, positive energy, happiness, and the list really can go on and on.  This part is not easy!!

It is easier to not worry about myself, preach to others about how "I" think their life should be and not face myself every single day.  The easy way out is boring.

I notice when changing my frame of thought your mind wonders more than one would like.  We have such powerful minds and it can be used to create two things;  pain or pleasure.  When my mind creates pain the reasoning behind these visions or thoughts reflect all of my FEAR.  I never realized how much fear I actually have and instead of facing myself and my fear I create realistic ideas of "what if" situations.  Does this make sense?????  Tony Robbins, talks about our minds and physiology of thinking.  We believe what our minds tell us, how we feel creates that emotional reaction and what we think is what we believe.  Even if our thoughts aren't real, the way those thoughts make us react and feel makes it an emotional reality. 
 
I learn about myself every day, but this experience has been one that is not only eye opening but a big reality check. 

I often make excuses for people, myself, a situation and in turn negatively look at a situation and leave it making me feel down or negatively impacted.  How do I get out of this habit???  Change my feelings and thought patterns that take me to the, "dark place."  This "dark place" is not ugly or forbidden territory, but it is easy.  Easy to fall into that pattern of as mentioned earlier of placing blame.  If we constantly placed a mirror infront of every accusation, negative slur, or pointed finger how would you react? 

It is easy and comfortable to try and control a situation, or let the negativity and misery rule your thoughts, action and overall being.  When are we ever satisfied?  I have allowed myself to look and project so far in the future that sometimes what is right in the moment does not receive the credit deserved.  Recently throught thie awakening and "challenge," living in the moment takes away the security of tomorrow but allows you to feel and appreciate what you have and feel more love than imagined.  Its amazing how one focus can effect all aspects of your life.   

Defining the Challenge

I do not believe in resolutions, I like to look at every day as a new opportunity for change and to continually improve on all levels. I have focused on mental clarity, breaking down myself from every angel with therapy, journal entries, growing, falling, etc. I think you get the idea. Now its time to change my physiology and create "habits" that will change my life forever.

http://zenhabits.net/7-little-habits-that-can-change-your-life-and-how-to-form-them/

In short- I have made a list of 7 habits that can change my life and here are the steps to be taken in this challenge.

Do a 30-day challenge, focusing on just ONE habit.

Write it out on paper, along with your motivations, obstacles, and strategies for overcoming them.

Commit fully, in a public way.

Log your progress.

Remain publicly accountable — report on your progress each day.

Have support for when you falter — either in real life or online.

Reward every little success.

If you fail, figure out what went wrong, plan for it, and try again.

Here we go......

My 7 habits:

1. Develop positive thinking
2. Daily routine
3. Follow through
4. Standards
5. Self-worth
6. Kindness
7. Exercise
We are going to start with #1.

Develop positive thinking:

With positive thinking I allow myself to focus and better control myself emotionally, physically and mentally. My mind will be stronger and grow towards a unrelenting positive attitude. I will become a better partner, with emotional and mental strength that allows me to notice the negative and only allow positive influences in my life. Positive thinking will allow me to “squash” my demons of the past and present creating a stronger foundation for me to continue to grow and learn.

Motives:
1. Become mentally stronger.
2. Change my physiology of thinking.
3. Look towards the best in situations.
4. Create greater outcomes.
5. Happiness.
6. Better relationships.

Obstacles:
1. Outside negative influences.
2. Negative thoughts and feelings.
3. Allowing the negative to control my feelings.
4. Wallowing.
5. Knowing when to let go of the negative.
6. Strength to consistently stay positive.

Strategy:
1. “Squash” negative thoughts.
2. Turn negatives into positives.
3. Write down what triggers my negative thoughts and be more aware.
4. See the positive in situations.
5. Gratitude journal.
6. Control my emotions.
“The way to overcome negative thoughts and destructive emotions is to develop opposing, positive emotions that are stronger and more powerful.” Dalai Lama

**I am going to use this blogging community as a log, accountability and an open ear to feedback. Please feel free to join me and take this 30 day journey towards a new perspective.

Control.

"Boredom No More"

Finally, the Official Top Ten Spiritual Ways to Defeat Boredom, Make Friends, Find Love, Trim Down, Shape Up, Discover Your Purpose, Make a Fortune, and Shine Your Light, are...

1. Take action.
2. Show up.
3. Lean into it.
4. Start anywhere.
5. Keep busy.
6. Get out more.
7. Ask for help.
8. Shake more hands.
9. Give more hugs.
10. Don't stop.

You were already visualizing, right?

Today,
The Universe