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| "Self Love" |
Monday, November 12, 2012
Thursday, November 8, 2012
Wednesday, November 7, 2012
Live as if....
Today a note from the Universe came to my inbox and said:
I will Live as if...
I can live whatever life I imagine.
Believe what I want to achieve and always move forward with the best intention.
I am not a master of my mind but I am a master of my drive and passion to be greater tomorrow than I am today.
How can you be greater tomorrow? Even by the slightest progression, in my opinion baby steps build stronger foundations.
Live as if....
How do you live?
Live as if, Jackie.
Always,
The Universe
Always,
The Universe
Well Mother Universe what does this mean?
I will Live as if...
- I'm richer than yesterday because today I have all I ever wanted.
- I only allow positive influences and energy into my life.
- The grass is greener on the side that I am on because I take the time to nurture and tend to it no matter what the weather looks like... ;) (Love you Miss Smith)
- I love myself first because I matter before anyone else does. (Within reason)
- I am top of my company and a successful business woman.
- My relationship with God has mended and I am aware of my path and reestablished faith.
- My family is stronger than ever, my partner and I are one unit.
- My mind is clear and sound.
- I am the healthiest I have ever been and my fitness is continuing to improve.
- I love every facet of my life because I create and work hard towards creating a great life.
I can live whatever life I imagine.
Believe what I want to achieve and always move forward with the best intention.
I am not a master of my mind but I am a master of my drive and passion to be greater tomorrow than I am today.
How can you be greater tomorrow? Even by the slightest progression, in my opinion baby steps build stronger foundations.
Live as if....
How do you live?
Monday, November 5, 2012
How do you see life?
“You make a life out of what you
have, not what you're missing.”
How do we find the willingness to be honest even if it means we don't like
what we see in ourselves and others? We see the changes, and try to accept that
we have to be made in order to walk in the light of that truth, authentically,
and for the purpose of living a fuller, more honest,life.
We grow into ourselves and not always in a productive fashion. I described myself to my counselor as an adult with emotions like an adolescent. I love hard, feel every emotional and give until I'm spent. I look at myself and see someone who is damaged and reborn. I am harder on myself more than anyone else can ever be. Not many have the chance to start over and realize that the flaws that made me ugly at one time have helped me rise into beauty and influence. After months of healing and realizing that I am not unbeatable and more obvious than anything, I have come to one true conclusion.
“I am whoever I see myself to be.”
I have been faced with the greatest challenges, a new life, and a reality that is hard to face at times. I have not been able to look myself in the eye and see myself for who I truly am as a woman, friend, daughter, sister, and partner. To wake every day in your own sorrow and misery is not something I like to admit, but what I am proud of is what I have learned. I am far from healed and even further from finding out what my purpose may be, however I have built strength in my heart, mind and body that allows me to finally see myself unguarded and without the ugly wall of doubt.
"Without
suffering I would not have been given the gift of this reawakening. "
Truth looks directly at us every day, but we tend to follow the lies that
cloud our vision.
Now the true test is to prove that this movement is real and what is
intended to be will continue to grow. We are all people with a unique story of
their life that paints a picture of who you have become today. The beauty of a
picture can be seen from many different perspectives, with many meanings seen
by various eyes and impact those who you do not even know are looking. When you realize that being the best you can
be every day with the intention of being pure and real, than there is no way
you can fail.
Failure is a victory that gives you the knowledge to know the difference
between what path your life will take next.
I will create my destiny by living for “me.”
Peace of mind.
"No
yesterdays are ever wasted for those who give themselves to today."
Friday, November 2, 2012
Being a Woman... I'm only human!
Sometimes you just want to kick something..... I know I do, and today is one of those days.
Lets start with the petty shit....
**Please keep in mind that this may offend some people and it is only meant to be real.**
Facebook-
Why did no one like what I posted?
Why does she always "like" my girlfriends posts....?
Who the hell says that!?
Oh she gained a little...........
Look at her hair!!!!!!!
Hmmmmmm...I wonder about those two, are they dating now???
How come my girlfriend didn't "like" mine and did hers???
OMG, they posted ANOTHER picture of themself! Beh!
Work-
Running late again, but for some reason its bugging me today out of every other day I'm late.
Why do I have to sit next to her? She talks too loud!
Gosh! His laugh makes me want to kick babies!
Another dumb email..
Who shit in here! I know its a bathroom but go downstairs.
I was hoping our managers would bring breakfast today so I didn't eat. (Never happened.)
Is is time to go yet? (Clock says 10:23am)
Driving-
Why did I have to buy this POS with a tape player!
Morning Zoo not so funny today.
I should be driving that car cause that lady doesn't look good driving it.
What would happen if I just ran off the road?
WTF are you looking at...!
I think you get the gist of it.
I came to a realization petty is silly but there is a method to my madness. Its called PMS!
The only time I tend to care about the smallest matters of my day and other's days is when the retched
Aunty Flow is knocking on my door. What do you do? Not a damn thing. I can kick, scream, point fingers, cuss, and especially pout which probably happens without me really knowing.
But guess what??
I'm only human.
Lets start with the petty shit....
**Please keep in mind that this may offend some people and it is only meant to be real.**
Why does she always "like" my girlfriends posts....?
Who the hell says that!?
Oh she gained a little...........
Look at her hair!!!!!!!
Hmmmmmm...I wonder about those two, are they dating now???
How come my girlfriend didn't "like" mine and did hers???
OMG, they posted ANOTHER picture of themself! Beh!
Why do I have to sit next to her? She talks too loud!
Gosh! His laugh makes me want to kick babies!
Another dumb email..
Who shit in here! I know its a bathroom but go downstairs.
I was hoping our managers would bring breakfast today so I didn't eat. (Never happened.)
Is is time to go yet? (Clock says 10:23am)
Morning Zoo not so funny today.
I should be driving that car cause that lady doesn't look good driving it.
What would happen if I just ran off the road?
WTF are you looking at...!
I think you get the gist of it.
I came to a realization petty is silly but there is a method to my madness. Its called PMS!
The only time I tend to care about the smallest matters of my day and other's days is when the retched
Aunty Flow is knocking on my door. What do you do? Not a damn thing. I can kick, scream, point fingers, cuss, and especially pout which probably happens without me really knowing.
But guess what??
I'm only human.
Tuesday, October 30, 2012
The Reality of Relationships
Where do you fall short in your relationship?
Kennedy: I was recently faced with a harsh reality that relationships never stay the same. What does that mean?!
I am a hopeless romantic who thought that the beginning of a relationship can, and always will, remain the same. Boy was I fooled! Marylyn has showed me there is so much more involved when you find that “one” person that challenges you, loves and accepts who you are, and more than ever—drives you crazy!
I have been in relationship after relationship that failed either because I wasn’t ready, she was straight and wouldn’t be “out,” or because there simply was no substance behind the first couple months of sex and infatuation.
As women, we are emotional creatures, and for me, I played off of their emotions and the fact that they were into me—and that was it! Later, I realized there were no brains behind the operation... physical chemistry quickly faded, and reality set in... Eight months later, there I was, trying to find my way out! My therapist explained it as such:
On the flip side, the relationships where things are intense and attraction and interaction are there, seem to be the ones where sexual and emotional depth doesn’t comes easy. The ones that last are the relationships that take time to perfect; improving mental aspects and gaining understanding when it comes to one another’s Love Language.
These are the ones that make the fight worth it. These are the ones that keep you interested and engaged, wanting more, and truly wanting to be there… Working and striving to be better, together!
Marilyn often says “there are constant peaks and valleys in any healthy/functioning relationship and life.” You mean, we’re not in the honeymoon phase forever?
For some reason, we’ve noticed in the SLC “Scene,” lesbians go through more relationships than socks! And to top it off, they hook up with their best friend’s ex, venture off to other circles of lesbians and invade their lives, or just go back and forth for months—or even years—with their previous relationship.
What is it about us women that makes us think the grass is greener on the other side? We often do not set ourselves up for success, either by staying in something for too long, or not really giving it a fair fight from the get go. **Remember our vantage point may be very different from yours*
Commitment!
When I met Marilyn I was unsure, out of fear, and made some choices that didn’t always boast confidence in our relationship. Luckily she was different; she was bold, upfront, and honest. She showed me the difference between “her” and “them” (them being my past relationships). I struggled with boundaries because I was so used to the way our community, at times, misrepresented them. (Boundaries: what imaginary line exists? Depending on Intention of either party, matters. What is going too far or unacceptable when you’re in a relationship? Many times I found myself having to ask “How would I feel if Marilyn was doing or allowing these same types of things to happen?”) And finally, trust. “Who can you trust,” I thought.
Marylyn has taught me a lot. She taught me a relationship is about meeting each other half way, she showed the best form of patience that she was capable of, and ultimately, she showed me love in a way no other was ever willing to do. Good or bad she fought for us and I fought for her.
To my surprise we are still fighting. Fighting to improve, understand, and take the good with the bad when it comes to growth. I am not the easiest person to be with, but I have met my match. She is by my side through it all and has shown commitment and dedication to us and our lives together.
When you find that one person that will put up with the things that others will not, care to have the uncomfortable conversations that come with ANY relationship, truly wants to be better (as well as assisting you in being better), makes you feel loved in the most surprising moments, and you can truly be you with—Commitment is necessary to make it work.
Our biggest lessons learned are the following:
1. Understand your role in the problem and take accountability when it comes to action.
2. My needs aren’t the only needs that should be met.
3. Relationships are a full-time job, but when worked at with love and compassion, there is a sense of approval.
4. If worse comes to worse, only then can you walk away holding your head high, knowing you gave it all you could.
So I ask you… do you know where you fall short in your relationship?
Yours Truly,
Kennedy—Monroe
Kennedy: I was recently faced with a harsh reality that relationships never stay the same. What does that mean?!
I am a hopeless romantic who thought that the beginning of a relationship can, and always will, remain the same. Boy was I fooled! Marylyn has showed me there is so much more involved when you find that “one” person that challenges you, loves and accepts who you are, and more than ever—drives you crazy!
I have been in relationship after relationship that failed either because I wasn’t ready, she was straight and wouldn’t be “out,” or because there simply was no substance behind the first couple months of sex and infatuation.
As women, we are emotional creatures, and for me, I played off of their emotions and the fact that they were into me—and that was it! Later, I realized there were no brains behind the operation... physical chemistry quickly faded, and reality set in... Eight months later, there I was, trying to find my way out! My therapist explained it as such:
- The relationships where lust and sexual drive are super apparent right from the start, are usually just that; sex. Someone to fill your need at that time. In most cases, these relationships are not long lasting.
On the flip side, the relationships where things are intense and attraction and interaction are there, seem to be the ones where sexual and emotional depth doesn’t comes easy. The ones that last are the relationships that take time to perfect; improving mental aspects and gaining understanding when it comes to one another’s Love Language.
These are the ones that make the fight worth it. These are the ones that keep you interested and engaged, wanting more, and truly wanting to be there… Working and striving to be better, together!
Marilyn often says “there are constant peaks and valleys in any healthy/functioning relationship and life.” You mean, we’re not in the honeymoon phase forever?
For some reason, we’ve noticed in the SLC “Scene,” lesbians go through more relationships than socks! And to top it off, they hook up with their best friend’s ex, venture off to other circles of lesbians and invade their lives, or just go back and forth for months—or even years—with their previous relationship.
What is it about us women that makes us think the grass is greener on the other side? We often do not set ourselves up for success, either by staying in something for too long, or not really giving it a fair fight from the get go. **Remember our vantage point may be very different from yours*
Commitment!
When I met Marilyn I was unsure, out of fear, and made some choices that didn’t always boast confidence in our relationship. Luckily she was different; she was bold, upfront, and honest. She showed me the difference between “her” and “them” (them being my past relationships). I struggled with boundaries because I was so used to the way our community, at times, misrepresented them. (Boundaries: what imaginary line exists? Depending on Intention of either party, matters. What is going too far or unacceptable when you’re in a relationship? Many times I found myself having to ask “How would I feel if Marilyn was doing or allowing these same types of things to happen?”) And finally, trust. “Who can you trust,” I thought.
Marylyn has taught me a lot. She taught me a relationship is about meeting each other half way, she showed the best form of patience that she was capable of, and ultimately, she showed me love in a way no other was ever willing to do. Good or bad she fought for us and I fought for her.
To my surprise we are still fighting. Fighting to improve, understand, and take the good with the bad when it comes to growth. I am not the easiest person to be with, but I have met my match. She is by my side through it all and has shown commitment and dedication to us and our lives together.
When you find that one person that will put up with the things that others will not, care to have the uncomfortable conversations that come with ANY relationship, truly wants to be better (as well as assisting you in being better), makes you feel loved in the most surprising moments, and you can truly be you with—Commitment is necessary to make it work.
Our biggest lessons learned are the following:
1. Understand your role in the problem and take accountability when it comes to action.
2. My needs aren’t the only needs that should be met.
3. Relationships are a full-time job, but when worked at with love and compassion, there is a sense of approval.
4. If worse comes to worse, only then can you walk away holding your head high, knowing you gave it all you could.
So I ask you… do you know where you fall short in your relationship?
Yours Truly,
Kennedy—Monroe
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